Well, what can be said about the Palins that hasn’t already been said in “The Other Sister”? Her dingus of a daughter and boyfriend Levi (sweet name brah) remind me of my high school colleagues that still work at Burger King…please don’t shift their destiny by electing the MILF/Undead in ‘08 ticket. I want these two freaks flame-broiling my Whopper in six months, not trotting around the White House lawn, not using condoms in the bushes.

Okay, the names: Piper, Bristol, Willow, Track and Trig. Seriously? Like…where can we ever go with this? It’s one of those jokes that’s not funny if you joke about it because the very nature of the subject just has to be a joke the universe is playing on us right? Just in case, they sound like a gay storybook raccoon family that live in an old Chevy and solve mysteries at the local dump.

Palin’s husband: he’s kind of Patrick Swayze, kind of Ted Haggard, kind of “only on the weekends”…this dude’s finger is caught inside someplace it shouldn’t be soon enough, mark my words. What a creep.

What a shit-show last night was…I mean…wow, I really don’t know where to start. The combination of the half-empty auditorium, some chick that looks like Tom Petty and a chihuahua had a baby that grew up on Spam and Penzoil and the near ten-minute “God I love you, I know me living in a trailer and being a complete  waste of skin is all part of your plan” mantra during the opening segment brought some major chuckles.

Today’s headlines in the Post and the News once again prove why unless you’re checking box scores you should never, NEVER EVER read either one of this dirty horseshit excuses for a daily newspaper. What happened to calling a spade a spade? I wish journalists were allowed to be as honest as the paparazzi…or at least had a set of nads the same size.

Mike Murphy and Peggy Noonan had it right, because they’re being rational: “It’s over.”

But, I’ve learned to never underestimate just how stupid the states between New York and California actually are as a whole…so let’s keep our fingers crossed that Saddam McCain and Sarah “Crystal Meth” Palin don’t pull a rabbit out of the hat…or out of Larry Craig’s ass.