Everybody’s heard of salvia, that stuff your sister’s boyfriend stockpiles in his sock drawer. Lame? Kind of. Promoted by shit-heads? Definitely. But goddamn, I must admit it’s the only time I’ve ever thought my apartment was a desert and Philbert from Rocko’s Modern Life was my friend.

But the crazy kids and their fun-smelling parties are getting the good ol’ boys into a stir. Read this.

If you’re trying to ban an herb, aren’t you kind of saying that God makes mistakes? Think about that Christian America. A rational-minded individual might see the medicinal, psychological and economic potential of harvesting nature’s gifts. But the overlords aren’t interested in harvesting medicinal herbs, because then the big fuck pharma suckhounds don’t get to turn a profit. They’d much rather give you some lab-generated synthetic horseshit that’ll make your dick fall off.

I’m sorry people like introspection, I really am. And I’m sorry some idiot blew his face all over the wall ten minutes after smoking salvia. Mayve there shouldn’t have been a gun in the house? Could that be the problem? Nope…it’s the herb.

Why don’t you legislative douchetards ban alcohol? Or even pickup trucks? I’ll go out on a limb and say a world without those two commodities would probably be a much milder, safer one.