A little while back I wrote an ode to MTV entitled “Open Letter to a Fallen Hero.” You should check it out. Tuesday morning angst at its finest…

It is now another Tuesday morning, about two months after “Open Letter…,” TRL has officially ended and I’m happy to spit some more venom at the situation. I don’t really care to be honest. It’s just too easy:

Oh MTV…you dirty little skank. You really did it this time. For once, you weren’t completely full of shit. You went through with it: You killed that which was the last semblance of your true identity.

TRL is gone. Music television is dead. I normally wouldn’t lament the death of screaming teenagers in Times Square, but dude, TRL actually played music videos and had people perform.

Remember MTV Live? When Carson Daly, that weird British dude and Ananda smoked bones backstage then talked to Quentin Tarantino about “Jackie Brown” for like four hours? Those were the days.

Remember when you could see the video for “Sabotage” every two hours? “Stinkfist”? Shit…I’m tearing up.

You know what? You guys should just do a show about Audrina Partridge’s sweater kittens. I mean, I see the damn things enough, they’re monstrously fake and probably have alright personalities. Let ‘em free MTV. Give us something we can work with goddamnit…

Blow me for real MTV, the plane has crashed into the mountain…

Michael French